Friday, August 3, 2018

DAY 028 -- "Edge Of The Brink"

What we did on our summer vacation? Geesh.

Here we are on the edge of the brink of the beginning of the end of my last week of radiation/chemo treatments for lung cancer. Two days off, then we’re back in it and going down the home stretch next week.

After that? Well, you’ll know when I know. The greatest truths (and half-truths) will come when they do the follow-up diagnostics and we’ll see what we see. And, yes, it might make more sense to look for what we don't see.

Point of order: I’m not sure why I’ve taken to dragging you into this with the plural pronoun. Guess I didn’t think you’d mind, and I feel like you’ve been in the fold here with me all along anyway, as we both find the way through it.

I’ve danced with this devil many times in my nursing career, especially those years I spent working in elder and hospice care, attending my patients as nurse, facilitator, advocate, witness, doing my best to always be objective, think & work holistically, and … and … wait … wait---

Oh, hell. I’ve just reached up to scratch my head, and my hand has come back with a clump of hair. Dammit.

I was hoping I’d miss this one Rad Chemo undoing. Right this minute, we can’t know to what degree I’ll get all sparse and sprigly on you, but first … let me get this good whimper out of the way.

**whistling, looking stunned, wiping off tears, thwapping forehead**

Next order of business, and to keep from going mad, is to get ahead of this (pun intended) and find a good bald joke. And, because this is New England, you can't get there from hair.

Let’s drop everything (what else can we do?) and get the bad hairless humor established. I’ll start:

“Even though I’m going bald, I’m keeping my comb. I just can’t part with it.”

More as we go, El


  1. Awww, one more crummy thing. Mary started out with cute scarves and hats and then at some point said oh forget it and just sported her little bald head wherever she went. I am picturing you with assorted bandanas that I imagine motorcyclists sometime like to wear? think a skull and crossbones pattern might be a good look? And my contribution to bad jokes: "Put a rabbit on your head, It will look like hare from a distance." (badabing). I know as nurses humor is often the thing that somehow sustains through the toughest moments. xo

  2. Kathy: So far, you get top honors on bad hair day jokes. And, yes, I have an assortment of Harley do-rags for the head. They're pre-cancerous, but will still work. Thanks for playing! Best, El

  3. I know people who shave it of preemptively and grow it back when they are done. It may be thinner hair, but who wants fat hair.

    1. Thank you! I've never had fat hair, but I have had disgruntled toenails. As for this new buzzcut, we'll see. It might just suit me. I know that some folks keep the "style" post-treatment. Life's a mystery. Best, El


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