It should’ve come as no surprise to me that the location of
my cancer metastasis is in my cerebellum, and on the right side, no less. Yes,
it’s visible in this scan, but let's wait for the results of this game of disconnect-the-dots before we point out where.
(If you're a brain surgeon, no fair calling out!)
The word itself, from the Latin, literally translates as “little
brain.” Perfect. I’ll be needing my big brain later for other things, should the future challenge my past to a fight.
The cerebellum was discovered and named by Leonardo da
Vinci. Some evidence suggests that he may have “borrowed” the name from Aristotle,
but I can forgive what might be a millennium-old plagiarism long enough to revel
in such celebrated company.
The problem is, there is no good rhyme for cerebellum. Don’t
bother looking it up; I searched everywhere, and the deeper I delved the further
away I got. The auto-rhymers provided nothing that matched sound and inflection exactly. The closest I came to it was “merit heaven.” (I suppose that could
come in handy later, but it’s still clunky).
It was only my writer’s license that spurred me on, but it went
downhill from there. When I got to “bare bottom” and “a gentle hum,” and my
favorite but egads “mare serum,” I gave up. I left my quest, however, feeling
rather special that a cerebellum has no exact textual doppelganger.
Makes me want to start a living cerebellum poets' society, or at least a
support group for those of us with disaffected cb’s.
The last thing, as we’re now compelled to look at this whole
thing from my pulp non-fiction angle, is giving my head-in parking rascal a moniker.
My lymph node lung tumor, as we know from our reading, has
been “Rad Chemo.” But, now this renegade hiding in my hindbrain’s discordant cranium’s
accordion creases? (If we can’t have good rhyme, we can at least abuse some
alliteration).
I will put this to my friends and relatives on social media:
Yes. That’s it. I’ll have a “Humor My Tumor” contest. My contacts are clever and
fun and dark and devious --- just what this name-calling will need. Winner gets
… well … we’ll think of something, and let's leave my merit heaven out of it.
More as we go, El
